That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
