Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
