Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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