she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
