I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
