ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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