First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
