watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Drunk is a universal language darling
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
