i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
