This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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