youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Say something about gay babies.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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