You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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