i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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