i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
