i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.