There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
