I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
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When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
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You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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