Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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