She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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