Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle