I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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