I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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