scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Enjoy the penises
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
My vagina is very pro this idea
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
