Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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