i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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