I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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