let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Come on in and take your pants off
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