i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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