ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
