meet me or not, i'm out of control
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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