Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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