man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
