You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
