i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
