Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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