Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
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the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
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Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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