you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
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