Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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