Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
