just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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