please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'm eating all of the evidence.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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