How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
