just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
