I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
