Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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