haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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