i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize