i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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