Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
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i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
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Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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