Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
