Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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