That's when you crack a 10am beer
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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