You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize