You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
