walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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