I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
