Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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