i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
