If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
