we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
