just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
